Faster Times here, telling you to buy Chalupacream HCl or you will die.

Nah, it’s cool to freak people out; by doing that, we’re driving the cost of Chalupacream down. It’ll be affordable to everyone now.

So goes the pharma and device industry’s rationale with regards to direct-to-consumer (DTC) advertising. But a new study shows that this may be a complete fiction. According to University of British Columbia-based researchers publishing in the Archives of Internal Medicine, a DTC campaign made no difference in the number of prescriptions filled for the anticoagulant Plavix, but the…

Not content with dooming the egg-allergic to pig death, looks like the porcino-medical complex has managed to create a pharmacist-proof version of Tamiflu. According to the FDA, there’s been some confusion over proper dosing with the popular (and how!) antiviral drug.

See, most liquid drugs are prescribed in milliliter (mL) doses; liquid Tamiflu, however, is dispensed in milligram (mg) doses. Since no one can be arsed to read in America anymore [Editors: please illustrate this with the universal symbol for "a pig stabbing you in the face"; it's somewhere in the dingbats font set, I'm...

Remember being fifteen, and swearing if your acne didn’t go away, you’d kill yourself? Well up until recently, there was a way to do both at once! Alas, pharma giant Hoffman-La Roche, Inc. announced it will not longer be selling Accutane, the nuclear option of acne medications. The drug itself, isotretinoin, will still be available in a generic formulation, but it’s not the same.

For one, things were just getting fun; a quick Google search for “Accutane” and “lawsuit” reveals a cottage industry of mesothelioma-esque proportions. According to Lawyers.com, “[i]f you have suffered a…