First Amateur Drinker of the New Year Can’t Even Wait for the New Year

When they took Bradley Garrison, 40, to the police station, they couldn’t even give him a Breathalyzer, he was puking so much. They’d just finished pulling his car over down there in Ocala, Florida, and when they smelled the fumes coming from inside and asked how many he’d had, he gave the standard answer: a couple. That’s what he said, but the bar receipt in his pocket told a different story: $139.09. That’s $69.54 a drink—after taxes, granted, but still. Here’s hoping ole Brad resolves to shop for better drinking bargains in the New Year.