Man Charged with Smuggling Bologna into U.S.

He should have known that spare tire was gonna get him into trouble. I don’t mean the spare tire around his waste, full of bologna; I mean the spare tire in the back of his F-150, full of bologna. The agents at the U.S.-Mexico border in Albuquerque knew something was off when they saw one half of his car low-riding and the other half at normal suspension. All they had to do was run a density meter over that spare in the back to know where his cache was stored. Once they sliced open the tire is when they found what it was: eight rolls of Mexican bologna, 76 pounds’ worth. “The bologna is a prohibited product,” explained the El Paso border-patrol director, “because it is made from pork and has the potential for introducing foreign animal diseases to the U.S. pork industry.” They slapped the driver with a ticket for a thousand bucks and let him go, on his way to the U.S. of A. But he had to do so without the bologna in his spare tire. Like smugglers everywhere, he’ll find his product somewhere, somehow. Those border agents–they merely delayed the inevitable.