Guitar Goes Missing from Dead Man’s Grave

This man in Wisconsin wasn’t bothering anyone. He was just lying there in his crypt, trying to rest in peace eternally with his Fender Telecaster–the guitar wasn’t even making any noise, for Christ‘s sake–when one of the groundskeepers who worked the cemetery said, “Hey, cool axe, bru! Since you’re not usin’ it or nothing’, do you mind if I, you know…?” Of course, I paraphrase. What he really said, according to a colleague of his there at the cemetery, was: “That’s a telly, a really expensive guitar. I really have to have that guitar. It’s too expensive to be in a crypt.” He said this to the fellow employee, who got rightly suspicious and went looking for the guitar later. It wasn’t there, but, sure enough, police found it at the other guy’s home. The state calls that “theft of moveable property from a corpse,” and they prosecute for it. But Steve Conrad, 39, calls it something else: “This isn’t something I normally do,” he told police. “I just have a respect for fine musical instruments.”

Tags: Steve Conrad, Wisconsin

Lary Wallace is a contributing editor for The Faster Times. He can be reached at emersonian@ymail.com. ...read more

Comments

stevesailer

Good analysis. I’ve been following the steroids problem for over 20 years, but those would be the three guys I’d like to hope were clean.