Prize: A pair of edible underwear

Rules: All entries must be posted on our Facebook page in the comments under the contest post. (If you don’t see the contest post, please scroll down)

You must be a Fan of The Faster Times on Facebook to win.

Deadline: Thursday, June 23, 11:59 P.M.

Winner will be announced on Facebook and notified via a Facebook message. -The TFT crew

The post CONTEST: Anthony Weiner’s Next Campaign Slogan appeared first on The Faster Times.

Today’s Contest: The Best Follow-Up Title to Go The F**K to Sleep

Prize: Your own copy of Go The F**K to Sleep

Rules: All entries must be posted on our Facebook page in the comments under the contest post. (If you don’t see the contest post, please scroll down)

You must be a Fan of The Faster Times on Facebook to win.

Deadline: Tuesday, June 21, 11:59 P.M.

Winner will be announced on Facebook and notified via a Facebook message. -The TFT crew

The post Contest: The Best Follow-Up Title to Go The F**K to Sleep appeared first on The Faster Times.

If you don’t know about Alvin Greene, read this.

Prize: Winner receives an a $99 idea submission from Quirky.com

Rules: All entries must be posted on ourFacebook page in the comments under the contest post. (If you don’t see the contest post, please scroll down)

You must be a Fan of The Faster Times on Facebook to win.

Deadline: Monday, June 14th, 11:59 P.M.

Winner will be announced on Facebook and notified via a Facebook message. -The TFT crew P.S.

Please note: Writers for The Faster Times can enter and win. See if you can beat us, suckers! [maniacal laughter]

The post Contest: Best Campaign Slogan for Alvin Greene appeared first on The Faster Times.

California gubernatorial candidate Douglas Hughes (R) wants all convicted pedophiles in California to be sent away to a ‘pedophile island.’

We imagine that tourism to the island is going to be a tough sell…

Contest: Best Tourism Slogan for Pedophile Island

Prize: Winner receives an unusually handsome Faster Times Cinch Sack.

Rules: All entries must be posted on our Facebook page in the comments under the contest post. (If you don’t see the contest post, please scroll down)

You must be a Fan of The Faster Times on Facebook to win.

Deadline: Sunday, May 23, 11:59 P.M.

Winner will be announced on Facebook and notified via a Facebook message. -The TFT crew P.S.

Please note: Writers for The Faster Times can enter and win. See if you can beat us, suckers! [maniacal laughter]

The post Weekend Contest: Best Tourism Slogan for Pedophile Island appeared first on The Faster Times.

Contest: Today’s Contest: Most Sexual-Sounding Non-Sexual Phrase – Win a Pair of Jumping Lederhosen

Example: Shaking Hands With Abe Lincoln

Rules: All entries must be posted on our Facebook page in the comments under the contest post. (If you don’t see the contest post, please scroll down)

You must be a Fan of The Faster Times on Facebook to win.

Deadline: Thursday, May 20, 11:59 P.M.

Winner will be announced on Facebook and notified via a Facebook message. -The TFT crew P.S.

The post Today’s Contest: Most Sexual-Sounding Non-Sexual Phrase or Term — Win a Pair of Jumping Lederhosen appeared first on The Faster Times.

Weekend Contest: Best First Sentence for a Novel About a Nymphomaniac Who Collects Toast Products – Win a Toast Wallet

Rules: All entries must be posted on our Facebook page in the comments under the contest post. (If you don’t see the contest post, please scroll down)

You must be a Fan of The Faster Times on Facebook to win.

Deadline: Sunday, May 16th, 11:59 P.M.

Winner will be announced on Facebook and notified via a Facebook message. -The TFT crew P.S.

Please note: Writers for The Faster Times can enter and win. See if you can beat us, suckers! [maniacal laughter]

The post Weekend Contest: Best First Sentence for a Novel About a Nymphomaniac Who Collects Toast Products – Win a Toast Wallet appeared first on The Faster Times.

Contest: Worst Item to Fall Out of Your Pocket on a First Date – Win a Pair of Jumping Lederhosen

Rules: All entries must be posted on our Facebook page in the comments under the contest post. (If you don’t see the contest post, please scroll down)

You must be a Fan of The Faster Times on Facebook to win.

Deadline: Tuesday, May 11, 11:59 P.M.

Winner will be announced on Facebook and notified via a Facebook message. -The TFT crew P.S.

Please note: Writers for The Faster Times can enter and win. See if you can beat us, suckers! [maniacal laughter]

The post Today’s Contest: Worst Item to Fall Out of Your Pocket on a First Date – Win a Pair of Jumping Lederhosen appeared first on The Faster Times.

Prize: Winner receives a free invention idea submission at Quirky.com, an amazing site that lets a community of users invent and design products. (Regular price is $99)

Rules: All entries must be posted on our Facebook page in the comments under the contest post. (If you don’t see the contest post, please scroll down)

You must be a Fan of The Faster Times on Facebook to win.

Deadline: Sunday, May 9th, 11:59 P.M.

Winner will be announced on Facebook and notified via a Facebook message. -The TFT crew P.S.

Please note: Writers for The Faster Times can enter and win. See if you can beat us, suckers! [maniacal laughter]

The post Contest: Best Pick-Up Line That Includes the Words “Gefilte Fish” appeared first on The Faster Times.

What’s the Worst Food Creation Ever?

Prize: A hamburger telephone.

Rules: All entries must be posted on our Facebook page in the comments under the contest post. (If you don’t see the contest post, please scroll down)

You must be a Fan of The Faster Times on Facebook to win.

Deadline: Sunday, May 2, 11:59 P.M.

Winner will be announced on Facebook and notified via a Facebook message. -The TFT crew P.S.

Please note: Writers for The Faster Times can enter and win. See if you can beat us, suckers! [maniacal laughter]

The post Weekend Contest: Worst Food Creation Ever? Win a Hamburger Phone! appeared first on The Faster Times.

Prize: Winner receives an unusually handsome Faster Times Cinch Sack.

Rules: All entries must be posted on our Facebook page in the comments under the contest post. (If you don’t see the contest post, please scroll down)

You must be a Fan of The Faster Times on Facebook to win.

Deadline: Tuesday, April 27, 11:59 P.M.

Winner will be announced on Facebook and notified via a Facebook message. -The TFT crew P.S.

Please note: Writers for The Faster Times can enter and win. See if you can beat us, suckers! [maniacal laughter]

The post Today’s Contest: Best New Slogan for the State of Arizona – Win a TFT Cinch Sack appeared first on The Faster Times.