14-Year-Old Pop Star Cries for America, Homecoming Date [Music Video]

When I was 14, all I really cared about was making Brandon Sheppard my boyfriend. Clearly, I did not have the outstanding moral compass of Kory Shore, who is CRYING for AMERICA, people.

But seriously, it’s like Justin Beiber and Rebecca Black had a baby and speed-aged it to make him their peers. Dressed in the most mournful shade of Target’s Missimo line, Shore towers atop Mt. Rushmore and walks among noble statues of our founding fathers, pleading the youth of the nation to rise up and make their own patriotic, soft focus music videos. In about thee days, this will be all over the internet and this kid will appear on Bill O’Reily being hailed as the Anti-Beiber.

I would say this poor kid is having a rough time at school, but let be honest: this has homeschool written all over it.

Ah, youth! Wasted on the young!

Business Flannel is a writing collective / sketch comedy troupe based out of Princeton, NJ. Follow us on Facebook.

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