This Is Glastonbury
For five days, I dropped off the face of the earth and into the sparkling fluorescent world of Glastonbury. Notorious for its epic line-ups and the masses of mash-ups [Br. sla... ...read more101 Movies Retitled in the Model of Bad Teacher
[Re-blogged from Business Flannel's Tumblr endeavor, The Weekly 101] Whoever came up with the title for ‘Bad Teacher’ got it right: People like movies more when ther... ...read moreGlenn Beck Will Quit Journalism If The Onion Wins a Pulitzer
Glenn Beck really wants The Onion to win a Pulitzer Prize. If they do, he will consider his life’s mission complete and quit being a radio and television personality. This... ...read moreNo, Thank YOU, Princeton University
I was recently solicited by Princeton University’s annual giving committee for a donation on the eve of my 2nd reunion. I dutifully gave, and today I received a thank you ... ...read moreThe Government Charged $650 to Mow A Woman’s Lawn. A Bargain, I Say!
A Phillipsburg, New Jersey woman is outraged this week after receiving a $650 bill from her local government for mowing her lawn. The front yard of the woman’s home–... ...read moreWhat I Do All Day, According to My Résumé
6 AM: Wake up and self-start; think about how driven I am. 6: 30 AM: Put on one of my many hats, be prepared to wear more hats later. 7 AM: Brainstorm with a group. 8 AM: Come u... ...read more101 Politicians Who Should Be Worried in the Wake of Anthony Weiner’s Penis Scandal
Congressmen Anthony Weiner resigned from the House today. He resigned because of a scandal about his weiner; his last name is also Weiner, which many news outlets have noted the... ...read moreIs Grantland the Whitest Website on the Internet?
For a long time, I thought that there would never be a Whiter web site than McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. The place oozed a sense of hip White detachment and used as its ... ...read moreThe Best Songs of 2011 to Air Guitar to While Naked in Your Room: A Guide
2011 has not been a great year for songs that I like to air guitar while naked to. It (the year, not my nudity) has been dominated by non-air-guitarrable down-tempo stuff like ... ...read moreActual New York Times Headline
The New York Times has out-Posted the Post: The last time I saw this headline it was on RedTube. ...read moreFollow Us
-
Follow us on twitter@thefastertimes
Most Popular
-
1
First Openly Straight Figure Skater Comes Forward
-
2
Brooklyn Man Now Living Entirely Off Own Beard Garden
-
3
“Cra Cra” Now Official Diagnosis in New DSM (DSM-5)
-
4
OfficeMax Marketing Director Struggling to Make Staplers ‘Sexy’ and ‘Conversational’
-
5
Homeless Guy Woos Silicon Valley VCs with Low-Tech Crowdfunding Startup
-
6
Area Man Tailors Life To Be More Relevant To His Hulu Advertisements
-
7
Fan Banging Furiously on Glass Could Be the Difference in Hockey Playoffs
-
8
Survey: 88% of Eagles Fans Too Drunk To Spell Nnamdi Asomugha Last Season
-
9
Attorney Actually Starting to Believe Own Bullshit
-
10
Local Mom Won’t Stop Being First Person to Like Every Goddamn Thing Son Posts to Facebook




