Kevin Garnett is on Wax and Andre Igoudala Isn’t: The Celtics Beat the Sixers
“‘With the instant availibility of information
and content so easily obtainable
is the culture now a product that’s disposable?’”
–Against Me!, “Up the Cuts”
It’s hard to make a lasting impression these days, when everything’s already been done and everything else is on YouTube! It’s hard, especially for those who share initials with the past, just ask Andre Igoudala. AI for short.
“Hey, AI, how does it feel after the Sixers lost on a last second alley oop to rival Boston last night?”
“Are you talkin’ to me?”
“Yeah, you’re AI, aren’t you?”
“I am AI, but I’m not.” And he’s right.
On Thursday night, Andre Igoudala, AI, put up fourteen points and seven rebounds and made what looked like the winning bucket on a driving hook shot. With his Sixers up one point in front of their hometown crowd and just six second left, it looked like one of those moments where a young 7-13 team might not only go to 8-13 but might start to make good on its talent level and ascend in the standings. After the second coming of AI made the basket, he looked and celebrated like a man, shaking off the awkwardness of puberty, in front of the home crowd that if won over can convince the emperor not to ever give you a thumbs down. But that was all before Rondo completed a last second pass to Kevin Garnett for the real winning basket.
KG’s dunk fell through the basket like a needle on wax, and the crackle could be heard throughout the arena. The vintage Celtics weren’t ready to let the digitalized Sixers knock them off, and in that moment, anyone watching should have felt sorry for AI, because AI is a man of his times. And his times are only MP3′s, downloads, and temporary, while the AI that arouses nostalgia is basking in the light of some Turkish record store, as an artifact of classic vinyl, complete with cornrow cover art. And, after spinning that record, who’s going to remember the ninety-nine cent download that Igoudala tossed up like a prayer in midst of a firestorm?
Follow us on twitter@thefastertimes
- 1 First Openly Straight Figure Skater Comes Forward
- 2 Brooklyn Man Now Living Entirely Off Own Beard Garden
- 3 “Cra Cra” Now Official Diagnosis in New DSM (DSM-5)
- 4 OfficeMax Marketing Director Struggling to Make Staplers ‘Sexy’ and ‘Conversational’
- 5 Homeless Guy Woos Silicon Valley VCs with Low-Tech Crowdfunding Startup
- 6 Area Man Tailors Life To Be More Relevant To His Hulu Advertisements
- 7 Fan Banging Furiously on Glass Could Be the Difference in Hockey Playoffs
- 8 Survey: 88% of Eagles Fans Too Drunk To Spell Nnamdi Asomugha Last Season
- 9 Attorney Actually Starting to Believe Own Bullshit
- 10 Local Mom Won’t Stop Being First Person to Like Every Goddamn Thing Son Posts to Facebook