It’s a painful moment, one that happens to me often as a professional competitive dancer -- in fact, it just happened last Saturday night, in a ballroom just outside of Philadelphia. As you stand there waiting, you tell yourself it doesn’t matter who wins, the dancing itself is all that matters. Then they start calling out the names: “In sixth place …” and you breathe a sigh. Whew! At least we’re not sixth!

Then comes the next name: “In fifth place … ” Whew! We’ll get at least fourth place -- not bad!

As each name is called, you get more excited. That’s when you realize you’re a liar. You care. Of course you care! Who wouldn’t rather win than lose?

We all compete sometime -- whether it’s a game of tennis or being nominated for a professional award -- and we like to pretend winning isn’t important. But we’re like those actors at Oscar time who say it’s just an honor to be nominated. Maybe they really believe that at first, but then they get swept up in all the excitement. When they lose -- and most of them lose -- they are shattered. Why does this happen? We all know how subjective awards are, especially when it come to art. How can you say Tolstoy better than Pushkin? Mozart is better than Beethoven? And does anybody really think Sandra Bullock is a better actress than Meryl Streep?

If you need any proof of how subjective judging can be in ballroom, just look at this season of “Dancing With The Stars.” In Week 3, Nicole rocked the house with an exuberant Quickstep that was nearly perfect technically, a 9.5 in my book. But Len Goodman gave her a 6, calling it a “vaudeville” routine. Huh? Then Pamela Anderson destroyed the Rumba in Week 4, dancing off beat, knees bent instead of straight, and mostly stood around posing, and Bruno Tonioli called it “technically the best dance she’s ever done” and gives her a 9. Were we watching the same dance?

It’s tough to maintain your sanity when you are constantly being judged by standards that sometimes seem impossible to understand. Maybe you have a boss like that. When I retired from competitive dancing in 2003, the main factor was that I wanted a personal life, wanted to start a family. But I was also tired of being constantly judged. I never stopped dancing -  I continued to perform in shows in the U.S. and abroad -- and it was so liberating to just dance without worrying about what the judges might think.

But then a funny thing happened. I missed it. Not the judging itself -- in a perfect world, I’d love to never be judged again -- but I missed the way competition made me a better dancer. In a show dance, you can easily hide your weak points by creating a routine that makes you look good, throwing in some flashy tricks to please the crowd. But to be a top competitive dancer means having the whole package -- emotion and charisma, beautiful lines, connecting to your partner, and great technique that ranges over the entire syllabus of steps you are required to perform -- not just the moves you’re good at. You also need tremendous endurance. In a major competition, there can be five or more rounds. By the end, you are completely exhausted but must find a way to keep going.

I didn’t realized how much I missed that challenge until last summer, when Werner Figar, a 3-time Austrian amateur national champion, asked me to come back to the professional circuit with him in 2010. He had stopped competing to explore modern dance but got the itch again. I was shocked to find myself saying yes. I swore I’d never go back to competitive dancing, which can swallow you up if you don’t have a way to keep things in perspective. But now that I’m married with a family (our daughter is nearly three), I realized that losing a competition won’t devastate me the way it used to.

So there I was Saturday night at the American Star Ball, listening to the announcer call the names of the sixth place finalist for professional International Latin, then fifth place, then fourth. Thankfully, they didn’t dim the lights and play spooky music. But as they called the names, I couldn’t have been more nervous if I were on national television. “In third place … “  They still hadn’t called our names. Werner and I looked at each other. “In second place … ” Someone else got second place. That must mean … we won!

We couldn’t believe it. The American Star Ball was only our third competition together after we’d each been off the circuit for six years. It took awhile for our emotions to catch up to what had happened. There were a lot of great dancers on the floor that night and somehow we ended up on top. It felt surreal, as if all those expectations of not winning -- the trick we used to keep our sanity -- were colliding with the reality that we had won.

Some friends took us out to dinner to celebrate afterward. But it didn’t take long for an unsettling feeling to take over. Suddenly, I realized that everyone will expect us to win the next one, and the one after that. That’s a terrible feeling, the kind that contributed to my decision to quit six years ago -- like you’ll let yourself and everybody else down if don’t come in first every time.

But then you realize else, something strange: Winning is really not all that different from sixth place. When you come in sixth, you wish you’d gotten at least fifth. And when you’re fifth, you want at least fourth. And if you’re fortunate enough to come in first, as we just did, you just want to be first again. And again.  And again. It never stops.

On Thursday, Werner and I flew to Vienna for the Austrian National Championships that take place on Sunday (we qualify because Werner is Austrian). Next week we’ll fly to England for the famous Blackpool Dance Festival to go up against some of the best dancers in the world. But the night before I left, I wasn’t thinking about the Rumba or Paso Doble or even how to find a wi-fi connection for my laptop. I was worried about whether I’d remember everything to pack in my daughter’s suitcase for her trip to California with my husband on Friday.

That’s what keeps me sane. That’s what keeps things real. That’s the kind of thing that Evan, Nicole, and Erin should keep in mind on Tuesday night when the lights dim and the spooky music plays.

I hope fans of “Dancing With The Stars” will continue reading my blog after Season 10 ends on Tuesday night, when I’ll shift gears to share my experiences on the professional competitive circuit, starting with the Austrian National Championships (Sunday, 5/23) and Blackpool Dance Festival (Friday, 5/28). You can follow our results on www.tatianawerner.com, our Facebook fan page, Twitter (Tatiana here, Werner here), and watch our dance videos on Youtube. Subscribe to this blog by clicking on the RSS feed icon next to “Ballroom” in the headline above.

Okay, enough talking. Time for dancing! Here is a video of Werner and I competing in the American Star Ball’s International Latin Open Championship on Saturday night. Hope you enjoy …

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLJ3ql6jZKk

But as the season progressed, she showed why raw sexiness isn’t enough in ballroom dancing. Dressing up like Marilyn Monroe for the Fox Trot, she went so overboard with sexy posturing that you could barely tell what dance she was doing. Her Paso Doble was mostly walking and standing around. The sexiest of all ballroom dances - the Rumba - went dead when she lost the beat and didn’t involve her body nearly enough.

Last week’s Waltz was Pamela’s worst performance of all – her frame was saggy and she looked like a rag doll being carried around by her partner, Damian Whitewood. On Tuesday, she was voted off the show.

What happened? How could someone with so much energy, sex appeal, and naturally beautiful lines get worse each week instead of better? Comparing her to Niecy Nash offers a clue. Niecy is usually considered a comedian, not a sex symbol (she takes great pride in what she calls her “jiggly parts”). But Niecy worked hard, steadily improved with each performance, and by last week had somehow become a more seductive dancer than Pamela Anderson.

The difference? Niecy understands the golden rule, summed up by the title of an old rhythm and blues song: “It Ain’t the Meat (It’s the Motion).”

Many ballroom dancers – even some professionals – believe being sexy means making a lot of suggestive faces, grinding your hips, and trying to feel sexy. Wrong! It comes from using your body artfully to tell a love story.

First, the technique. In the Latin dances, straight knees and pointed feet are sexy; bent knees and flexed feet are not. Finding graceful positions for your arms is sexy; leaving  them hanging at your sides is not. Grabbing your body is not sexy. A delicate touch – or even suggesting a touch without actually touching yourself at all – is, very.

I had to learn all this the hard way. My dancing style has always been tomboyish and I worked for many hours with top coaches on being more seductive. Yes, it’s true – you can learn to be sexy! What I discovered is that emotion always starts with the body and moves to the heart, not the other way around. When you take a physical action toward your partner – pursuing him or pulling away – your feelings will follow. But you have to believe in every moment. Every time your hands touch, it must feel real. When that happens, a bubble of emotion is created around the couple that is so powerful it can also wrap the audience up in its embrace.

What makes Niecy Nash sexy is that her technique improved to the point that last week’s Quickstep seemed light and effortless. She also seemed to truly believe the story she was telling. Pamela Anderson, meanwhile, never pointed her toes and did all her kicks and splits with her knees bent. Emotionally, she was working way too hard, trying to be seductive but – because nothing was happening in her body – her performances fell flat.

Nicole Scherzinger is sexy not because of her great body (if that’s all it took, Kim Kardashian would be a world champion). It’s because her technique is so good there are no distractions and the audience can focus on the deep connection she has with her partner. Erin Andrews and Chad Ochocinco had to work a lot harder on technique (after all, neither are dancing pop singers like Nicole) but achieved a similar result. Aiden Turner was probably considered this season’s sexiest male contestant but he never found a way to use his body effectively – and neither did Jake Pavelka. Evan Lysacek is obviously very gifted and seems to do many of the right things with his body but has to make his inner life come alive more to become a truly sexy performer.

In the end, the sexiest dancers are always the bravest, the ones willing to dig deep inside themselves and expose their true feelings. Let’s face it – inside, everyone is shy, vulnerable, and afraid. Our natural instinct is to protect ourselves – and in a tough world, that’s not such a bad thing. But when we let our guard down and let in people we trust, we come to a new place, a better understanding of ourselves. We gain the confidence that comes with knowing who we are, unafraid of revealing ourselves to the world. That’s sexy.

Below is my ranking of the 5 remaining contestants based on last week’s performances and how they can improve. On Monday, contestants will have the enormous challenge of performing two dances: Nicole Scherzinger will be doing the Fox Trot and Paso Doble, Chad Ochocinco the Tango and Jive, Erin Andrews the Tango and Rumba, Evan Lysacek the Waltz and Cha-Cha, and Niecy Nash the Viennese Waltz and Paso Doble.

Tatiana’s Ranking Changes Since Last Week: Evan took over the top spot for the first time since Week 3 with a brilliant Argentine Tango (all 3 judges gave him a perfect 10) and Nicole dropped to #2 with a Waltz that needed more edge. Erin and Chad moved up two spots each to #3 and #4 respectively (she delivered a solid Quickstep and he an elegant Viennese Waltz). Niecy should not feel badly about dropping two spots and finishing in last place with her wonderful Quickstep – this is a tough crowd!

Tatiana’s Rankings of Last Week’s Performances (and how contestants can improve)

1. Evan Lysacek (you were powerful and commanding in your Argentine Tango, wisely keeping your lyrical side in check; just watch those moments when you revert back to skating).

2. Nicole Scherzinger (Your talent alone makes you beautiful to watch, but your Waltz was too cute and predictable – you need to take more chances and bring more fluidity into your upper body)

3. Erin Andrews (your posture has improved, your rhythm is solid, and your characterization of the Quickstep excellent, but you danced everything with your toes, with no heel lead, and need to focus more on the basic steps)

4. Chad Ochocinco (Your timing and rise-and-fall were excellent in your Viennese Waltz but you need to use your legs more and push off your back foot)

5. Niecy Nash (Keep working hard and progressing as you have each week and you just might keep surprising the doubters!)

But it wasn’t until last week that the circus sideshows subsided (OK, except for Anna dropping Evan on his head) and the show finally focused on … dancing!

For me, this was good news. As a professional dancer and teacher, I love knowing that millions of viewers were able to focus on two of ballroom’s most demanding dances, the Argentine Tango and the Samba, without being distracted by a lot of hokey-pokey. Give the celebrities credit for what they accomplished last Monday with less than a week to learn the steps. Now that the complainers have been voted off the show (yes, that means you, Kate!), it was wonderful to see the remaining contestants seriously wrestling with such a difficult challenge to their bodies, minds, and hearts.

Niecy Nash got to the essence of the Argentine Tango by wondering if anyone had ever done a funny version. This is usually a very serious dance, full of drama, sometimes even tragedy -- something about the music, sudden changes in tempo, and quirky movements makes it so. It’s really unlike anything else in ballroom. While some dancers specialize in Latin (Cha-cha, Rumba, etc.) or Standard (Fox Trot, Waltz, etc.), Argentine Tango dancers often perform nothing else. It requires that kind of intensity and discipline to do it well.

Niecy succeeded in making the Argentine Tango funny, starting out by snatching a rose from Louis van Amstel’s teeth and trying to eat it (a reference to her healthy appetite), then pretended to knee him in the groin during one of her kicks between his legs; at the end, Louis temped her with a cookie, then ate it himself. Fortunately, Niecy also did some serious dancing, showing clear, precise footwork and good timing.

Pamela Anderson didn’t do nearly as well with her footwork, which was very wobbly, but she knows how to use her body to tell a story and really got into the character of the dance. Chad Ochocinco failed to understand that Argentine Tango is one of the few ballroom dances where the man must be totally in charge. By mostly just standing there, he drained the dance of its drive and energy (though for some reason, the judges rewarded his performance with three 8s).

Though the stars did surprisingly well, their performances shouldn’t be confused with real Argentine Tango. Rather than using words to explain what it’s supposed to look like, I’d rather show you a brilliant example. There is a saying in the ballroom world that you don’t choose the Argentine Tango -- the Argentine Tango chooses you. It never chose me (and believe me, I tried!), but it definitely chose Orlando Reyes Ibarra and Adriana Salgado, my teaching colleagues at Paul Pellicoro’s DanceSport studio in Manhattan, who are among the best Argentine Tango dancers you will ever have the privilege to see. Watch and enjoy, and then we’ll move on to Samba.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=f812Ouhd6BE

The other dance highlighted last week -- the Samba -- is a specialty of mine, so perhaps that’s why I was more disappointed in the performances. Again, give the stars credit for what they accomplished because the Samba is probably the most difficult of all the Latin dances. Forget the image of a carefree, feather-shaking party dance to carnival music -- learning Samba is a lot of work! You have to train different parts of your body to move independently of each other, and all the contestants made the mistake of bending their knees deeply (rather than just flexing them) and then not bouncing back up, making the dance look heavy and slow.

Jake Pavelka was the worst -- his Samba was jerky and stiff -- and Erin Andrews got ahead of the music and could not isolate the movements of her upper body from her lower half (how Carrie Ann and Bruno could give her 9s is hard to imagine). Evan Lysacek was much better, moving his hips, connecting to his partner, and characterizing the dance well, but once again he had the footwork of a skater with no bounce in his steps. The closest thing to a real Samba came from Nicole Scherzinger, who had very good Rolls (when both dancers, in the shadow position, bend forward and then backward together). She was also light on her feet and bounced better than the others -- though her knees were still bent rather than flexed.

Once again, rather than trying to explain how to perform the dance properly, I’ll offer another video clip. Here I’m doing the Samba with my partner, Werner Figar, at a professional ballroom competition earlier this year in Stamford, Connecticut. Keep in mind that I’ve been dancing Samba since taking up ballroom at age 14. If I were to ask Evan for a few figure skating lessons before performing on national television, I’d probably end up in worse shape than two broken toes and a concussion. And after critiquing Chad every week for the past couple of months, I can only hope he doesn’t ask me to play football with his buddies on the Cincinnati Bengals.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_1q_Zu3BmI

Below is my ranking of the 6 remaining contestants based on last week’s performances. On Monday night, Nicole and Pamela will be doing the Waltz, Niecy and Erin the Quickstep, Chad the Viennese Waltz, and Evan the Argentine Tango. The dancers will also be paired into two groups of three to perform a Cha-Cha and the group’s scores will be added to each couple’s individual scores.

I was sorry to see that Jake Pavelka, who was voted off the show on Tuesday, never lived up to the potential he showed in the season premier. I actually picked him to finish in the top 3 by the end of the season, but he could never get out of his head and into his body (and too often seemed more interested in posing than dancing). So I was wrong there but still feel good about my prediction that Evan and Nicole will be in the top 3. At this point, it looks like that third spot will be filled by Erin, though Chad is also a contender. Much as I will miss her, I’m afraid this might be the last week for Niecy unless she delivers a great performance and one of the other dancers stumbles.

Tatiana’s Ranking Changes Since Last Week: Nicole and Evan stay #1 and #2 respectively for the fourth straight week by doing admirable versions of the difficult Samba and Niecy jumped three spots to #3 with her excellent footwork on the Argentine Tango. Erin dropped two rungs to #5 with a shaky Samba and Pamela climbed one spot to #4 with a competent Argentine Tango. Chad dropped two rungs to last place with an Argentine Tango that, unfortunately, included very little dancing.

Tatiana’s Rankings of Last Week’s Performances

1. Nicole Scherzinger

2. Evan Lysacek

3. Niecy Nash

4. Pamela Anderson

5. Erin Andrews

6. Chad Ochocinco

They dodged the questions, of course. But since these couples spend just about every waking moment together during the season – often ending up in the closed position as they Cha-Cha and Tango – it’s not surprising that love (or at least sexual attraction) would flair up. And now a word of warning from someone who’s been there: Be careful!

Like most professional competitive ballroom dancers, I earn my living as a teacher. When students fall under the spell of the Samba or Fox Trot, they often partner with their instructors to enter the kind of “pro/am” competitions you see on “Dancing  With The Stars.” They have many reasons for doing this. They want to become better dancers. They want to impress their friends. Or they think their teacher is really hot.

If you’re attracted to someone, what better way to fan the flames than to become a ballroom couple? You spend long hours holding and touching each other. You travel to resorts in exotic lands, where you can dress up and enter a glamorous fantasy world. As you spin across the floor, you can express your deepest passion (Rumba), high drama (Paso Doble), and giddy excitement (Jive). Then there is the delicious thrill when one of you suggests booking a single room in the hotel.

That’s usually when the trouble starts. The student learns what the teacher already knows – that it’s really not a glamorous life, after all. You work hard, you sweat, and you cry when you can’t get the steps right. The teacher is not the angel you saw performing on stage before you met but a tyrant who criticizes everything you do. “He’s a jerk!” ”She doesn’t love me anymore!” One man I was dating broke into tears when I was teaching him Swing because I kept slapping his back to keep him from leaning back too far during the Rock step.

So I wasn’t surprised to see Cheryl suddenly get moody with Chad last week – and then refuse to explain what was bothering her. And those playful arguments between Erin and Max? There was an undercurrent of tension that, of course, had nothing to do with dancing. Both couples seemed to be entering that delicate stage of trying to figure out whether the romance is real or mostly hormonal. That’s never an easy question to answer in any relationship – but it becomes much harder when you throw in the tremendous pressure of ballroom competition.

My advice to both couples – and other pro/am competitors – is to be very disciplined about keeping your “work life” separate from your personal life. The practice studio is not real life. There, the teacher must be the boss – there is no negotiation. When practice is over, try to keep the strong connection that you developed in the studio, but leave everything else behind. Try to live like normal human beings instead of teacher and student. It’s not easy, but it can be done  - at least for awhile.

It’s a blessing for the two blossoming romances on “Dancing With The Stars” that the show will be over in five weeks. Trust me – it’s very hard to make a ballroom relationship last. So many of the married professionals I know thought it was wonderfully convenient at first – your spouse understands what a crazy life it is and you get lots of time together – but they ended up divorcing (or destroying the partnership) because they never got a break, either from their partners or their jobs. Their whole life was about nothing but dancing and it drove them crazy.

When I dated my students, it never worked out. And that wimpy guy who cried when I whacked him on the back? He was never a regular student and not much of a dancer. But now he’s something far more important – a great husband, wonderful father, and the love of my life.

Below is my ranking of the 7 remaining contestants based on last week’s performances and some advice about how they can improve. On Monday night, Evan Lysacek, Erin Andrews, Nicole Scherzinger, and Jake Pavelka will perform the Samba. Niecy Nash, Pamela Anderson, and Chad Ochocinco will do the Argentine Tango.

(Kate Gosselin, of course, was voted off the show last week. Her terrible attitude and lack of effort was very disrespectful to the art of ballroom dancing, not to mention her partner (and my friend and former partner) Tony Dovolani, who should be nominated for sainthood for enduring the last few months with her. Good-bye Kate!)

Tatiana’s Ranking Changes Since Last Week: Nicole and Evan stay #1 and #2 respectively for the third straight week but Erin jumps three spots to #3 with her energetic Jive. Chad drops one rung to #4 with a Quickstep that was better than the judges gave him credit for and Pamela leaps from #8 to #5 by going from a dreadful Rumba two weeks ago to a decent Quickstep. Niecy (Jive) and Jake (Cha-Cha) both drop two spots to #6 with #7 respectively, partly because their routines lacked the basic steps that would have revealed whether they were doing the dances properly.

Tatiana’s Rankings of Last Week’s Performances (and how contestants can improve)

1. Nicole Scherzinger (Last week’s Tango was very musical and energetic, but on the Standard dances, you need to work on keeping your upper body still even when your legs and feet are moving quickly)

2. Evan Lysacek (Your characterization of the Rumba was beautiful and you have great chemistry with your partner, but you still look like you’re skating rather than dancing; think “toe/heel” as you move rather than gliding)

3. Erin Andrews (You were relaxed and full of energy in the Jive but need more variety in your arm style for other Latin dances like this week’s Samba)

4. Chad Ochocinco (Your footwork, posture, and timing have improved greatly but your frame can be better; also, you’ll look more effortless if you stop counting as you dance and trust yourself to execute the steps)

5. Pamela Anderson (Great trick jumping on the chairs and table in last week’s Quickstep, but you lost your footwork and need to bring more musicality to your performances)

6. Niecy Nash (Your upper body looks great – shaking shoulders on the Jive is not easy – but everything below the waist needs a lot of work, from footwork to stronger kicks to involving your core muscles)

7. Jake Pavelka (Too much posing and not enough dancing; when you do move, you’re still too spastic; get out of your head and into your body and don’t be flattered by the judges – they’re letting you get away with murder)

For three celebrities this season – Aiden Turner, Jake Pavelka, and Kate Gosselin – the picture has not been pretty. To be blunt, they’ve acted like whiny, spoiled brats.

Everything changed last week, and it was beautiful to see. Jake showed up with a T-shirt reminding him to “Turn Up, Keep Up, Shut Up” and “Trust Your Pro.” Kate stopped complaining about her teacher, Tony Dovolani, and found the problem in the mirror, saying, “I don’t believe in myself.” Both seemed to realize they had to clean up their act or go home: Jake ranked in the bottom two couples the week before and Kate was getting hammered by the judges (and fans online) week after week.

But for me, the most moving story was Aiden, who after struggling the first few weeks, delivered a breakthrough performance with his Rumba. I’m not sure what the judges were smoking to give him 5s for technique and 6s for performance. His technique was much improved – his back was straighter and his arms were smoother – and he finally seemed to coming out of his shell emotionally. That’s why it was so heartbreaking to see him voted off the show on Tuesday. It was like a tragic episode from the kind of soap opera Aiden stars in – the hero dies just after finding redemption.

Fortunately, it’s not too late for Kate and Jake. Last week’s show had separate scores for “technique” and “performance” and Kate’s tango showed how dropping your defensiveness can help in both respects. When she stopped fighting Tony, her technique improved because she wasn’t so physically tight anymore: her arms opened up and her posture improved. Her expressive, emotional side – the “performance” – got much better, too. She was more open and vulnerable, allowing her to connect with her partner and show her feelings.

Jake, on the other hand, went from one extreme to another. First he was too defensive during practice and then he became more open, which is great. But during the Tango on Monday, he put too much energy into the dance and looked spastic – even tripping twice. It’s great to see him with such a positive attitude, but now he needs to calm down and channel that energy into properly executing the steps.

It’s hard to imagine Jake and Kate overtaking figure skater Evan Lysacek and pop singer Nicole Scherzinger, who both have a lifetime of experience moving their bodies to music. But as anyone who competes in ballroom dancing can tell you, the judging is so subjective that winning or losing is not really the point. Aiden, Jake, and Kate have experienced something far more important than whatever the judges or voters at home have to say. They have thrown away the armor they were walking around in, showing us the beautiful, frightened, excited person inside. That’s why we watch. That’s why they have already won.

Below is my ranking of the 8 remaining contestants and some advice about how they can improve Monday night, when they will be performing an iconic song from the movies.

Tatiana’s Ranking Changes Since Last Week: Nicole Scherzinger and Evan Lysacek are still #1 and #2 respectively, but Chad Ochocinco moves up to #3 with a wonderfully expressive Rumba. Niecy Nash and Jake Pavelka remain in the middle of the field while Erin Andrews drops from #3 to #6 with a passionless Tango. Kate Gosselin pulls out of last place by finally coming to life with her Tango and Pamela Anderson falls to the bottom with a Rumba that, oddly enough, had zero sex appeal.

Tatiana’s Rankings of Last Week’s Performances

1. Nicole Scherzinger (You have beautiful lines and extensions, as always, but need to pull your weight down to the floor rather than floating around like a feather.)

2. Evan Lysacek (The judges loved your Tango, but with such a large frame, you need to be careful not to throw too much energy out; keep it internal and let the energy build.)

3. Chad Ochocinco (You may never get beyond that football-player stiffness, but keep up the great emotion of last week’s Rumba.)

4. Niecy Nash (Your Rumba was very romantic and you’ve learned to brush your feet against the floor but for the Latin dances, you  need to turn your feet out more so you don’t look pigeon toed.)

5. Jake Pavelka (You’re getting faster and sharper, but your movements are still too jerky; you’re anxious and stiff and need to breathe deeper to relax.)

6. Erin Andrews (Your lines are getting much better but your footwork needs lots of work and your legs are far enough apart to drive a train through. Between each step, bring your legs together.)

7. Kate Gosselin (It was beautiful to watch you finally taking control of your body rather than letting Tony push you across the floor; keep moving in that direction.)

8. Pamela Anderson (The judges let you get away with murder: You were off beat, had very little body motion, and seemed to be sleep-walking through many of the steps. Yes, the Rumba is very difficult, but even in the slow dances, you need to get back to the passion you showed in the Cha-Cha in Week 1.)

And it’s not always about a man and woman. In the Paso Doble, the man is the matador, the woman his cape. In a Brazilian Samba, the dancers could play a drummer and a drum.

Telling a story in dance is not easy, especially if the music is not from a famous Broadway musical or a movie like “Titanic.” I’m currently performing a show dance with my partner, Werner Figar, to drum music with no lyrics or melody, making the storytelling even more challenging. Here’s a video of the dance, a samba/rumba. See if you can guess what it’s about and at the bottom of this post (**), I’ll tell you what we had in mind.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUKk_oUyRMg

During last week’s “Dancing With The Stars,” we saw the full spectrum of ballroom storytelling, from fabulous to, well, extremely awkward.

Aiden Turner’s Quickstep routine with Edyta Sliwinkska had a promising concept: He was a painter whose creation leaps off the canvas and into his arms. But after that set-up, the story disappeared and it became just two people dancing -- and, in Aiden’s case, not very well. His movements were clunky, he lost the beat, and sometimes just stood there like a tree. The good news is that he seems to have lost the cockiness he showed last week when he snapped at Edyta during practice (discussed in last week’s blog), but his technical problems were so distracting that it was impossible to get involved in the story.

At the other end of the spectrum, Nicole Scherzinger  had everything -- great technique, precise timing, and a joyfulness that made you feel happy just watching her dance to “Anything Goes” with Derek Hough. Like actors, dancers have to deeply believe the story they are telling and Nicole was convincing with every step. I was shocked when judge Len Goodman only gave them a 6 (thank you, Bruno, for that 9!). I give them a Perfect 10. Maybe there wasn’t enough Quickstep, as Len argued, but I didn’t care -- that was some of the best, most exuberant dancing you will ever see in a pro-am competition.

I found Buzz Aldrin’s Waltz very affecting even though he basically walked through the steps. It was no big surprise that he was voted off the show on Tuesday -- at age 80, it was a great accomplishment just to be out there at all -- but he seemed to be truly living out the story of an old soldier returning home to his daughter. Niecy Nash had a hard job trying to tell her complicated story with just a Waltz. We knew it was a drama between a man and woman but couldn’t tell precisely what kind. It was only her emotional scene with Louis van Amstel during practice -- when they wept about the discrimination that keeps lovers apart -- that helped us understand the dance that followed.

That scene also reminded us why stories are important: When they touch enough of us deeply enough, they can change the world.

Below is my ranking of the 9 remaining contestants and some advice about what they need to do with Monday night’s Rumba or Tango to survive another week. For the first time ever, the dancers will get two scores -- one for the performance, the other for technique -- which should clearly reveal  the strong and weak points of each dancer. This week, watch out -- there will be nowhere to hide!

Tatiana’s Ranking Changes Since Last Week: Nicole Scherzinger took over the top spot from Evan Lysacek with her brilliant Quickstep and Erin Andrews continues to improve quickly, moving up to #3 by dancing blindfolded (literally!) and never losing her balance. Chad Ochocinco jumped four spots to #4 with a strong, commanding  Paso Doble (a dance that suits him well) and Niecy Nash moved up one spot for the second straight week, to #5. Jake Pavelka, Pamela Anderson, and Aiden Turner dropped in my rankings with uninspiring performances while Kate Gosselin remains in last place, clearly struggling.

Tatiana’s Rankings of Last Week’s Performances

1. Nicole Scherzinger (you stopped trying so hard and had so much fun with the Quickstep that you made a difficult routine seem easy; do that every week and you could take home the trophy)

2. Evan Lysacek (amazing job with two broken toes (!), but you still need to work on rolling your feet back and forth between heel and toe, something you never have to worry about when you’re skating)

3. Erin Andrews (your upper body is more open and relaxed, making your movements seem effortless, but you’re still picking your feet up too high rather than brushing them against the floor)

4. Chad Ochocinco (bring the same confidence you showed in the Paso Doble to the other dances and you will go far)

5. Niecy Nash (the smoothness and softness of your upper body needs to migrate down into your feet, which are still awkward and stumbling)

6. Jake Pavelka (you’re still hunching forward and need to strengthen your back, no matter what dance you are performing)

7. Pamela Anderson (you create beautiful lines with your body but remember this isn’t modeling; you’re doing too much posing and not enough dancing)

8. Aiden Turner (you’re finally starting to dance from the heart, but have to make your technique second nature before you can start expressing yourself as a dancer)

9. Kate Gosselin (your Paso Doble showed signs of life but you need to take the acting coach’s suggestion to heart: drop the mask and try to truly feel the dance inside you)

** Now, about our samba/rumba routine: I am a leopard in the wild and Werner is a hunter trying to tame me.

“I’m not asking you – I’m telling you,” barked Jake Pavelka of “The Bachelor” on last week’s show.

“Be patient – otherwise, I’ll leave,” snapped soap star Aiden Turner.

“You’re not taking into consideration how I learn,” complained reality queen Kate Gosselin before walking off in a huff. “I’m done – I’m done today.”

You didn’t hear Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger or Olympic figure skater Evan Lysacek snarl at their teachers like that – and it’s not just because they were Number 1 and 2 going into last week’s episode while Kate and Aiden ranked behind everyone except an 80-year-old man (astronaut Buzz Aldrin). It’s because Nicole and Evan perform live under intense pressure on a regular basis and they know the key to success is opening yourself up to the coaching process and making yourself vulnerable – not blaming your coach for pushing you past your limits.

“Dancing With The Stars” is a glitzy version of a popular event in the ballroom world – the “pro/am” competition in which amateurs are paired with professionals. In my career as a dance teacher, I have often found myself in the middle of such emotional practice-room dramas.

It’s a tough situation for everyone involved. For the student – especially beginners – there is a long period when you feel terribly awkward. You try and fail. Then you try again and fail again. Your body is simply not accustomed to moving the way your teacher wants it to move. Your ego gets bruised. You become defensive. You think you’ll never get it. You start blaming the teacher for driving you too hard, for not caring how you feel.

The professionals, of course, are human, too – as we saw when Tony Dovolani and Edyta Sliwinkska stormed off the practice floor (Tony even peeled off his mic and said, “I quit” before returning to make up with Kate). The teachers are under tremendous pressure to make their students look good – for many, their livelihood depends on it. They sometimes forget what it’s like to be a student and can fall into the trap of becoming impatient and sarcastic.

For this delicate relationship to work, the student has to be deeply humble, trust his teacher , and submit to the teacher’s authority. This can be hard for some men when their teacher is a woman – though, as Kate showed, women find it difficult, too. Talking back and trying to control the lesson doesn’t work – it’s a sure sign the student has not lowered her defense mechanisms enough to be transformed from an ordinary person into a dancer. You can see in Aiden and Kate’s stiff performances that their guard is still up and they are resisting the process. Transformation is hard for all of us – deep down, we are afraid of becoming the new person our teacher is asking us to be.

The teacher, meanwhile, has to be endlessly patient – something my toddler daughter reminds me every day. Dance students are really like children learning to walk – and getting impatient will only make them afraid to get up and try again. Professional dancers who learned from an early age to submit to the will of the teacher have to realize that it takes time for non-dancers to trust that scary process. There will be many struggles until a true bond with the teacher is established.

It will make great theater on Monday night to see how well Jake, Aiden, and Kate and their teachers navigate this minefield – and the answers will be clear on the dance floor. Shannen Doherty seemed to make great progress in that respect – she got frustrated and broke into tears during practice but came out with great energy in the Jive and showed signs of tapping into her true potential. That’s why it was a shame – and a bit puzzling – to see her voted off the show Tuesday night.

Below is my ranking of the 10 remaining dancers and some advice about what they need to do with Monday night’s Waltz, Paso Doble, or Quickstep to stay in the game for another week.

Tatiana’s Ranking Changes Since Last Week: Erin Andrews pulled ahead of Pamela Anderson, whose over-the-top sexuality that worked so well with the Cha-Cha in Week 1 was distracting and inappropriate for the Fox Trot in Week 2. Aiden Turner leapfrogged Chad Ochocinco for the opposite reason – he was stiff in the Cha-cha but confident in the Fox Trot. And Buzz Aldrin impressed me more than he did the judges (who each gave him a 4) to move out of last place ahead of the still-tentative Kate Gosselin, who should follow judge Len Goodman’s advice: “Go out fighting!”

Tatiana’s Rankings of Last Week’s Performances

1. Evan Lysacek (you’re making a great transition from a solo performer to part of a couple; keep it up!)

2. Nicole Scherzinger (you’re very talented but working too hard – try to make it seem more effortless)

3. Jake Pavelka (you’re executing your routines cleanly, but work on the connection between your upper and lower body)

4. Erin Andrews (you have good flexibility – nice job on the split last week – but your movements need to be more fluid and less jerky)

5. Pamela Anderson (get into the character of each dance rather than playing a sex siren every time)

6. Niecy Nash (you’re charismatic and loveable but put your mind process into your footwork and posture)

7. Aiden Turner (much improved over last week but open your chest and stand straighter)

8. Chad Ochocinco (use your height and long legs and arms to create bigger lines and push off your feet to create smoother movements across the floor)

9. Buzz Aldrin (your timing was precise last week but you need clearer footwork)

10. Kate Gosselin (you’re still too dependent on Tony – try to bring more energy onto the dance floor)

Well, Pamela Anderson knows how to shake it.

The original Baywatch babe offered a sharp contrast to Kate Gosselin, the other big celebrity on last week’s season premier. While Pamela took control of her own destiny, Kate waited for someone to rescue her.

Pamela’s technique was not great in the Cha-Cha, but we hardly noticed that because she so obviously loved what she was doing. She danced like she didn’t even need a partner, seizing the moment like it was the last show of her life, and shook what her mama gave her.

Kate, to her credit, seemed very innocent and vulnerable as she performed the Viennese Waltz – and that made us like her immediately. But she was so dependent on her partner Tony Dovolani that she seemed awkward and uncertain.

To be fair, dancing in front of millions of people is not easy for someone like Kate, a former nurse who is not a professional performer (despite all the media attention she gets). And it’s no coincidence that the two best dancers of Week 1 – figure skater Evan Lysacek and Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger – have spent years performing before live audiences.

Evan has the whole package – obviously ballet trained, with great balance, posture, arm style, and frame. Nicole is an elegant performer who is beautiful to watch and looks very relaxed on the dance floor.

But the best personality – by far – is the comedian Niecy Nash, who struck a blow for thicker people everywhere by declaring “I like my jiggly parts!” She is so much fun to watch that she could become this season’s Cloris Leachman: Hardly a great dancer but an audience favorite who could last deep into the season on the force of her personality alone.

Below is my ranking of the 11 dancers in Week 1 and what they need to do with tonight’s Jive and Fox Trot to keep from being eliminated on the results show Tuesday night.

Finally, a prediction: The final episode on May 25^th will come down to Evan Lysacek, Nicole Scherzinger, and “The Bachelor” reality star Jake Pavelka, who gave an excellent presentation last week and looked very confident. Stay tuned!

Tatiana’s Rankings of Last Week’s Performances

1. Evan Lysacek (think dance floor, not skating rink)

2. Nicole Scherzinger (involve your back muscles to add depth to your movements)

3. Jake Pavelka (work on posture – stop hunching forward)

4. Shannen Doherty (bring some life to your face)

5. Pamela Anderson (work on your foot and leg positions – but don’t lose your  spontaneity)

6. Erin Andrews (watch those bent arms – they look like chicken wings)

7. Niecy Nash (don’t pick up your feet; brush them against the floor)

8. Chad Ochocinco (your upper body is smooth but you need to focus on footwork)

9. Kate Gosselin (work hard in practice but once you start dancing, trust yourself)

10. Aiden Turner (you’re cute but too robotic; loosen up)

11. Buzz Aldrin (forget the dancing and just enjoy yourself)

It’s fun seeing Tony on the cover of People magazine this week. Because way before Kate, before Kathy Ireland, Melissa Rycroft, Susan Lucci, Marissa Jaret Winokur, Jane Seymour, Leeza Gibbons, Sara Evans, and Stacy Keibler – even before “Dancing With The Stars” started making everybody crazy for the Rumba and Cha-Cha in 2005 – Tony and I won lots of competitions together, including the International Latin Rising Star title at the United States Ballroom Championship in Miami.

Tony is a powerful dancer, with lots of charisma, and an excellent coach. Part of what makes him so good is that he’s open to suggestions from other dancers and coaches he trusts. When he was partnered with Susan Lucci in Season 7, he asked me to take a look at their mambo routine. (She was feeling stiff, so I told her, “The mambo is a sensual dance -you want to feel like ripping your clothes off!”) So I hope Tony doesn’t mind that I’ve accepted an invitation from The Faster Times to offer a bit of womanly advice to his current partner, who I am sure is a bundle of nerves as she tries to learn the Viennese Waltz knowing that millions of people will be watching her every reverse turn and natural turn.

Though I can’t imagine what it’s like to have eight children, I’m a mom myself (my daughter is almost three). It’s not easy balancing the demands of motherhood and the pressure of competitive ballroom dancing, but it can be done. Here are some tips:

1. Learn to Love High Heels. Dancing in high heels looks incredibly difficult – and it is – but once you learn how, you’ll actually find it liberating. At first, you can’t keep your balance. Your ankle, calf muscles, and lower back will hurt. But having so much weight on the front of your foot actually allows you to move your feet faster and spin more easily. Dancing in heels is actually easier for me than walking. Be patient and practice in your dance shoes as often as you can.

2. Keep Your Heart Open. The Viennese Waltz requires very fast footwork executed smoothly, so it’s a great technical challenge. But at some point you have to forget about technique and just dance. This is a very romantic, lyrical dance. As you practice, listen to the lyrics and try to open your heart to the meaning of the words and make them your own. Everyone seems to have an opinion about the choices you’ve made with your life. This is your chance to tell your own story through that song.

3. Exhale. Inhaling happens automatically, but we tend to hold our breath when we’re nervous. Shutting off oxygen can make you dizzy, lose your balance, and forget your steps. So focus on exhaling. And remember that most people watching will be supporting you. There’s something about being so open and vulnerable on the dance floor that makes people want to cheer you on. This actually may be the one area of your public life where people are not judging you and really want you to succeed.

4. Forget The Judges. We all want good marks, even when we say we don’t care. But try not to obsess about it. Judging in ballroom dancing is very subjective. The best way to forget about them is to stay focused on your partner. Let the music go through your blood and your muscles until you become an instrument of the song. Even if your technique is not good, the judges will forget about that because they get involved in the story you are telling. If you lose that connection to the music, the judges will get bored and start looking for technical problems. That’s when the trouble starts.

5. Ignore the Mommy Critics. When I decided to return to return to the competitive ballroom circuit this season, of course I worried about whether I’d have enough time for my daughter. But when people ask me what is more important – my career or my child – I say, “That’s like asking me to choose between eating and sleeping.” Why must women always answer that question, but not men? You will make the time for your children and be a great inspiration to them, especially your daughters. They will be proud of you for trying something extremely difficult and opening yourself up to exciting new experiences that will enrich their lives when you bring all that home.

Oh, and one last thing: Watch out for Tony’s flailing arms. He once smacked me right in the nose during a Cha-Cha in the finals of the USBC. I thought it was his elbow, he said it was his shoulder. I saw sparkles and tears ran down my cheeks. But we never stopped and ended up winning the national championship. So no matter what happens out on the floor, never stop. Keep dancing!