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Mark Donatiello
Mark Donatiello

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Mark Donatiello Articles
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Mark Donatiello Mark Donatiello |
06.14.2013

Stanley Cup Final One Blowout Away From “Boston Massacre” Headline Outrage

Following a marathon Game One of the Stanley Cup Final that ended in triple overtime, editors everywhere were relieved that “Boston Massacre” headlines were avoided for at least another day.

Contributing hockey writer for the New York Post, David Satriano, expressed his relief in a 2AM phone interview with TFT after Andrew Shaw kneed in the game-winner.

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Carolina Hurricanes v Buffalo Sabres
Mark Donatiello Mark Donatiello |
05.15.2013

Fan Banging Furiously on Glass Could Be the Difference in Hockey Playoffs

With the second round of a thrilling NHL Playoffs underway, Barry Melrose of ESPN reports that one fan banging furiously on the glass could determine who wins the Stanley Cup.

“It’s no surprise home teams have won 56% of puck battles when a fan starts banging on the glass,” said Melrose during a 28-second hockey segment on last night’s SportsCenter.

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Mark Donatiello Mark Donatiello |
05.14.2013

Survey: 88% of Eagles Fans Too Drunk To Spell Nnamdi Asomugha Last Season

For the number of times Philadelphia Eagles fans saw the back of Nnamdi Asomugha’s jersey chasing a wide receiver heading to the endzone, it follows that they would at least remember how to spell his last name. A recent poll of Eagles season ticket holders, however, suggests many claim to have been too drunk the past two years to remember the high-profile cornerback much at all. In a recent survey, 88% of season ticket holders failed to spell Nnamdi Asomugha correctly, with 70% citing excessive intoxication as the cause, and the remaining 18% listing “Go fuck yourself” as the primary reason.

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Mark Donatiello Mark Donatiello |
04.26.2013

MLB: No, Our Website Isn’t Broken, The Royals Really Are In First Place

After a flurry of complaints and widespread confusion, Major League Baseball responded to rumors that MLB.com was erroneously listing the Kansas City Royals in first place in the AL Central.

“Our website isn’t broken” said CIO John McHale Jr. “The Kansas City Royals really are in first place. The Twins are right behind them. The AL Central is not reporting information upside-down, nor are the outcomes of games being altered to promote parity. Our website is safe, secure, and functioning properly.”

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Mark Donatiello Mark Donatiello |
04.25.2013

That Pretty Girl You Just Bought a Drink Isn’t Actually Coming Back From the Bathroom

According to restroom exit polls, that pretty girl you just bought a drink for isn’t actually coming back from the bathroom.

The girl that you’re still creepily waiting to return told pollsters that she was visibly shaken by your aggressive and corny personality, in addition to the way you kept nervously adjusting your backwards baseball cap.

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Mark Donatiello Mark Donatiello |
11.02.2012

NHL Cancels Winter Classic – Is Stanley Cup Next 2012 NHL Lockout Victim?

The NHL officially cancelled the Winter Classic Friday. As the 2012 NHL Lockout continues to cancel games and CBA negotiations falter, is the Stanley Cup the next hockey victim?

We’re running out of things to take away, boys and girls. First it was months of the regular season –well, first

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Mark Donatiello Mark Donatiello |
11.02.2012

Do the New York Knicks Have a Chance Against the Miami Heat?

NBA Picks and Predictions – Friday, November 2nd: Miami Heat at New York Knicks; Maybe they shouldn’t be playing this game, but they are, so let’s bet on it.

The Miami Heat traveled into the city to face the New York Knicks, and Dwyane Wade was probably right – maybe the New

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Mark Donatiello Mark Donatiello |
10.27.2012

NFL Picks and Predictions Week Eight: Giants Cowboys, Falcons First Loss, Pats in London

NFL Picks and Predictions Week Eight (10/28): New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys, Philadelphia Eagles Hand Atlanta Falcons First Loss, New England Patriots Win in London

The Atlanta Falcons have yet to lose this season despite their struggles on the road, but the Philadelphia Eagles never lose coming off a bye.

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Mark Donatiello Mark Donatiello |
10.27.2012

NBA Preseason Predictions 2012 – Western Conference: Lakers or Thunder

NBA Preseason Predictions 2012 – Western Conference Edition: Los Angeles Lakers Acquired Steve Nash and Dwight Howard, but Can They Dethrone the Oklahoma City Thunder?

It was almost too boring. The Miami Heat were all set to dominate the East for years while the Oklahoma City Thunder ruled the West.

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Mark Donatiello Mark Donatiello |
10.25.2012

NFL Power Rankings Week Eight: Are Vikings For Real? Will Falcons Lose?

NFL Power Rankings Week Eight: Are the Minnesota Vikings for Real? Will the Atlanta Falcons Ever Lose? Texans, Giants, Bears, 49ers Battle for Best in Football.

The Houston Texans, New York Giants, Chicago Bears and San Francisco 49ers have been impressive as they battle for the top spot in our

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