Cambridge Adds Yoga Instructions to Parking Tickets

Everybody knows that parking tickets are annoying and lame and stupid. But is there some way that they could be patronizing as well? Yes! Thanks to innovative thinking in Cambridge, Massachusetts, where parking tickets now include instructions for assuming stress-relieving yoga positions. Frustrated that you got yet another parking ticket? Why not try the “citation salutation” pose, while cursing under your breath, swearing to God Almighty that you’re just going to ditch your Festiva in the Charles River and finally be done with it.

The city’s transportation chief commented on the campaign, saying “It’s trying to debunk the idea that all parking tickets are a hostile action.” It does not, however, debunk the idea that recipients will be forced to pay a fine, using money from their own pockets, which is the main problem people have with parking tickets. The campaign also includes immobilizing cars with plush “soft-boots,” apparently in an effort to cull scofflaws via rage-induced heart attacks.

The campaign is the result of a public art project commissioned by the city of Cambridge, but surprisingly not all feedback has been enthusiastic. “I don’t think it’s working,” said one recipient of a yoga parking ticket. “I don’t like it.” Behold, the power of public art!

Ross Hyzer is a regular contributor of humor writing to the Huffington Post and a frequent performer in New York’s alt comedy scene (details on upcoming shows can be found at rosshyzer.com). He lives ...read more

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