Absurd News 
Mountain Dew Good at Quenching Thirst, Liquifying Rodents
I once saw an episode of The Steve Wilkos Show in which a guy was accused of (among other things) stealing a tv from his lady friend. He maintained his innocence in a rather bo... ...read more
Woman Swallows Pen, Keeps It In Her Stomach For 25 Years
Everyone loves a good medical mystery, just like on that sexy sex show Grey’s Anatomy. Well, here’s one with a lot fewer hunks but a lot more WTFs: A 76-year-old B... ...read moreComputers Now Stealing Literature, Dorito Jobs
Have you ever wanted to read a story written by a machine, just like the proles did in 1984? Well your long wait is finally over! Say hello to Brutus, a computer at Rensselaer... ...read moreIt’s Official: Americans are the Coolest
Americans worried about crippling levels of unemployment, increasingly unstable income gaps between rich and poor, the apparent transformation of one of our major political pa... ...read moreGerman Radio Station Offers Funeral Giveaway
Picture it: you’re young, you’re hip, you’re German. You and your friends have the world by the tail, smoking cigarettes in the Altstadt, eating “eis... ...read moreThis Valentine’s Day, Say It With Roaches
Hoo boy, here it is already Valentine’s Day and you still haven’t picked out a gift for that special someone. You were planning on going shopping over the weekend, b... ...read moreTop Gun Footage Slipped Into Chinese News Segment
What is the coolest movie ever? Yes, it is Top Gun! Top Gun is boss as hell, with planes going zoom and dudes telling each other they stink but everybody joining together in t... ...read moreMan Found Nude in Cemetery, Photographing Spirits
A security camera set up to catch vandals instead recorded photos of a man hanging out fully naked in a cemetery in south Mississippi. The man was eventually identified as 47-y... ...read moreChinese Farmer Builds Robots in His Spare Time
At the age of 11, little Wu Yulu sat on his doorstep in rural China and dreamed of building terrible man-machines, with all the dexterity and guile of a biological human but mad... ...read moreGerman City Taxes Sex Work to Reduce Deficit
Money: right now, nobody has any of it. What can we do to make money exist again, so that we can pay our bills and cover our deficits and keep having fancy things like street ... ...read moreFollow Us
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